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Timid But Brave In The End

On a cool afternoon, in a sweet little neighbourhood where people were walking on the beach, spending time with their children, walking their dogs, greeting each other with a smile, Reyhan brought her daughter Sude to the park and swung her on the swing as she did every evening, and her joy increased when she saw the big and sincere smile that appeared on her face every time she swung. She looked around her softly and what she was doing at that moment,

It was as if his soul had separated from his body and was watching him from the sky and he was proud of this state. He was thinking about the predicaments, despair, loneliness and desolation he had been in until a few years ago.

He said ‘thank God, thank God, thank God for everything I’ve been through’ while these sentences echoed in him

suddenly

A little girl’s voice is heard

-Mum, Mummy!

It was Sude who called out

-‘Mummy, I want some cream’ in a high-pitched and sweet voice

Reyhan stopped the swing with a graceful move and leaned towards her daughter;

-okay dear, but don’t run too much, you’re sweating, you’ll get sick

Saying that, she started to run one step behind Sude. While Sude was experiencing the joy of running before her mother, Reyhan sat on the bench and started to watch Sude and observe her surroundings.

Right next to her, mum, dad and their children were passing by holding hands, this moment Reyhan witnessed

He had never been the only son of his parents.

Her mother was a woman who was blindly loyal to traditions and customs, who defended patriarchy more than male individuals, especially manipulated her daughters and normalised this manipulation. The father was selfish, always one step ahead of his wife, and when it was against his own interests, he would leave his family behind without mercy.

He was so narcissistic and megalomaniacal that he could leave the family, children who grow up in such a problematic parental network cannot have very big dreams for the future, unfortunately, the youngest of the six siblings, the most discarded, in such a despotic family, the older brothers and sisters, whose despotism is also inevitable in such a despotic family.

when he wasn’t there, he used this task as if it had been given to him. Only one of them, the middle brother.

Ahmet was different, he was a person who knew how to read, travel, discover new places, think universally, and when he was most bored and overwhelmed, he would come to Reyhan’s rescue, he would be her lifeblood,

They would talk about everything about life for hours, worrying about each other’s troubles and rejoicing in each other’s joys. The most

She would find her brother with her in her unstoppable sobs and in the moments when she laughed the most.

She was now at high school age, family pressure, family members who were convinced that she should get married wanted to give her away if someone ‘suitable’ came along. She was expected to be a wife without being allowed to be an individual, she used to go dowry shopping with her mother when she was dreaming of going to school, and she would return home crying. No one was interested in the fact that she was unwilling and unhappy, and she had to settle for what she was desperately going through and get married. Unhappy years full of pain and violence were waiting for her, but she had never imagined it like this.

Now she had a title called bride, but she had turned into a woman whose duty was cleaning and service.

nothing was passing.

Until this age, he had never made any decisions for his own life, he did not know where to start and how to start, and one day when he was unhappy, he found himself next to his brother, his brother listened to him with compassion and attention, and the more his brother listened, the more he wanted to talk and the more he wanted to cry because no one around him could understand him.

He did not listen, did not care about his thoughts and ignored them. Reyhan was startled by her ringing phone and the person on the phone was her husband shouting on the phone saying why she was still not coming home, saying that she had crossed the limit and telling her to come home immediately. (Her conversations with her brother had lasted for hours so that they did not even realise the time). The fact that his brother witnessed this phone call hurt his heart and he hung up the phone, embarrassedly saying okay, his brother realised how embarrassed he was and tried not to look him in the eye and bowed his head in front of him.

When he stood up to say goodbye, these two brothers hugged each other with teary eyes.

Ahmet;

-My brother, whatever decision you make about your own life, I am with you and I support you, if you want, you can leave right now, I am with you again, only tears of happiness should flow from your eyes now, I don’t want to see my brother like this, we will start everything from scratch.

I’ll help you study, you’re still young,’ he said.

Reyhan hugged her brother so tightly that she felt his heartbeat and until this time

Realising that he had never hugged anyone so sincerely, he wiped his tears and left.

Now she had to return home and confidently shout that she was not happy and leave these unhappiness behind and open a new page, she knew that she was not alone, she had a brother like a mountain behind her and that was enough for her.

She came home uneasy, yet happy, and made her freedom speech without blinking an eye. She told the people in her house (mother-in-law, mother-in-law, sister-in-law) that she was an individual, that she had her own decisions and that

He said that he wanted to divorce his wife, and as soon as he finished his sentence, he went to his room and gathered his belongings and walked away from that house, where he was ignored like a faded self, like a ghost from that prison life, without looking back, leaving shouting and insults behind him.

He happily went to his brother, but he was not at home, his aunt was not at home, he did not answer when he called his brother, he called his aunt and she answered the phone crying.

At that moment, something had broken inside, but no, no more bad thoughts, no more unhappiness.

and did not want to hear what his aunt was saying.

-No, I’m in a dream right now, this can’t be my real life, this can’t be real when I’m so close to happiness.

But it was true, his brother had died of a heart attack, leaving behind a young girl who was big in size but timid and frightened in heart.

He couldn’t recover for months, he couldn’t recover, at the moment when he was most exhausted and exhausted himself, Sude’s father appeared in front of him.

And life was starting again from where he thought it was over.

As these moments passed through his mind again, he realised that he could not control his tears and was startled by a voice

-Mother, I’m thirsty and I want ice cream …