All that you touch
You change
All that you change
Changes you
— Octavia Butler
These words resonate with me as I start writing this story. This morning at the Writeshop camp, we went for a walk in the forest. As we made our way up a woody hill, we encountered a web spun from one side to the other, with the spider sitting majestically in the center, ruling her domain. Despite this being her rightful territory, we marched on with impatient confidence, assuming our right to be there surpassed hers. Driven by our desire to venture further, not even a tiny spider considering herself a queen could halt our uphill journey. We walked right past her home, breaking it for our momentary pleasure, without a care for the hours she had spent spinning her web.
But some webs are meant to be broken. As we embarked on the journey of our livelihood skills training project at the Yusra Community Center, I knew it would be an uphill battle to empower the displaced women in Istanbul. The neighborhood’s conservative traditions and the struggles of being refugees in an unfamiliar land were like the spider’s web, blocking our way forward. However, our intentions were noble so we believed in our mission to change the lives of the women, stitch by stitch, looking forward to the many success stories we hoped for.
The project took root in our resource center, the Yusra Community Center, nestled amidst the historical buildings of old Istanbul. Within the confines of peeling paint and broken tiles, we saw the resilience of those who had sought refuge here, and we believed that a brighter future was possible. Amidst the challenges of limited work opportunities for the men and the weight of raising large families, the women had, for so long, embraced a life within the walls of their homes. The language barriers and lack of skills had kept them from exploring the world outside.
But change began with small steps. Our language classes opened the door to communication, bridging the gap between cultures. Our children’s programs and livelihood initiatives provided them with opportunities they had never imagined.
Among these initiatives was the sewing project, Inshirah Collective, where 15 resilient women, including A (name withheld for privacy), gathered to learn new skills. A’s past had been colored by tragedy, but within her heart, she held the hopes and dreams of her six children. As she immersed herself in the project, her talents flourished, and she became a guiding light for the other women.
In the intimate moments of tea breaks, misconceptions faded away, and bonds were formed. Cultural barriers broke down, and we found solace in our shared stories.
One day, in the sewing studio, tragedy struck. A’s husband, trapped in the chains of an archaic mindset, threatened by her newfound confidence lashed out in anger, leaving her battered and bruised. We stood in shock, not having anticipated this unforeseen consequence of our empowerment project, knowing that her story was not different from the many others playing out in households across the world. The other women in the project consoled her saying that all women got beaten up by their husbands.
But A refused to be a victim. Her financial independence was directly responsible for her girls continuing their education and she was not going to let anything stand in the way of that. Her husband had been threatening to stop the girls from going to school because it was too expensive and the income from A’s work ensured that the girls’ school needs did not unduly burden the family’s expenses. Her skills became her shield, protecting her daughters’ education from the threat of her husband’s anger. She knew that education would give her daughters a way out of this cycle, and she was going to make sure they had that option.
As the sewing project thrived, A’s confidence grew, each stitch a testament to her resilience. She found a glimmer of hope in her creations, and it fueled her determination to stand up for herself and her daughters.
But life can be unpredictable, and like the rest of the world, our project was not immune to the pandemic’s cruel touch. The pandemic brought forth new challenges, and sales slowed as the women grappled with balancing their work and home responsibilities.
Amid the struggles, A’s participation became sporadic. The burden of ensuring her family’s well-being and education weighed heavily on her. The project’s funding dwindled, and we struggled with our own limitations in providing support. As we continued to reopen, I hoped that the center would once again become a beacon of empowerment. But A’s journey took a different path, one filled with unforeseen twists and turns. Some of the other participants in the project went on to set up their own small businesses but A, exhausted with the pressure of keeping her husband and family happy, decided to stay home.
Though A’s direct involvement in the project waned, her learning endures. She continues to push for her daughters’ education. The girls are flourishing in school and proudly share their end-of-the-year report cards with me. Their dreams for the future had previously centered on being beautiful brides, now they include professional achievements and interesting careers.
A’s tale stands as a poignant reminder that our journey towards change may be fraught with hardships, but it is also the catalyst for hope and transformation. The women in our project may have faced setbacks, but they have already taken the small steps that will inspire and empower future generations.
As we reflect on A’s story, we are reminded of Octavia Butler’s wise words. Our project has impacted many lives, including my own. The determination and courage of the women have inspired us to stay committed to our mission. Every year, new participants join the project, each bringing her own powerful story and leaving with new skills and determination for a better life. However, there are also participants like A, who face cultural restraints and struggle to break free. Their stories teach us that empowerment isn’t just about overcoming every challenge, but also finding hope and strength in difficult times. They show us that real change must come from within, not from outside influences. Our project’s impact extends far beyond our immediate circle, as stories of A and others continue to inspire and shape lives, encouraging others to find their strength and create positive change in the world, and especially for the coming generations.
